Breaking Point

My emotions as of late have been nothing but stress, fear, anger, resentment, confusion, and uncertainty. I feel like a huge hurricane that has yet to dissipate. There are people in my life that I no longer want here, yet for most I have no say in the matter.

For if I were to say these word aloud I would be called selfish, bitter, and cold-hearted. People scold me for no longer caring about them and feeling nothing but indifference to their mere existence. The pain and strife they have caused me do not matter to them. However, I shall no longer apologize for what I feel or believe.

I am told to have a voice, an opinion, yet I am treated as if I have none. I can no longer be myself around loved ones for fear of judgment and disappointment. I have grown too far from the naive, innocent girl they once knew; our opinions and thoughts line up no more. I see things in a light they do not understand.

Now, like a coming storm, I have bottled up my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs for far too long. So long, that I fear they may burst out like a dam under too much pressure. Family and friends believe that they know me, however, I am more of a mystery than they realize. Alas, I believe my breaking point is almost here . . . and I am terrified of what I shall become when it arrives..